By Terese Belme
In the first chapter of It’s Momplicated by Debbie Alsdorf and Joan Edwards Kay, the two share their stories of the momplicated relationship they had with their moms. Debbie and Joan also share their hearts for seeing moms and daughters healed from mother wounds stating, “Integrating biblical truth with the latest in therapeutic practice, this book will lead you along a healing path to the safe place of knowing you are truly precious and loved.” As the reader engages with the sometimes raw yet beautiful testimonials of other women and their mother/daughter relationships, she is encouraged to explore her own relationship with her mother.
“When I think of growing up with my mother, there are three words that come to mind — distant, cold, and angry. And a fourth: longing.” ~Debbie
As daughters, our mothers have left an imprint of themselves on our heart and as mothers, we, in turn, leave an imprint of ourselves on our daughters’ heart and so the cycle goes. Early on women are gently encouraged to think about the different ways their mother has shaped them into the woman they are today.
- Were there times when you longed for your mother’s physical presence, but she was not there for you?
- Has your mother lied to you or made promises she didn’t keep?
- Has your mother seemed like a defeated victim of life rather than a victor?
- Has it seemed that you existed to serve your mother or care for her?
- Has your mother conveyed to you that you are not lovable or that you don’t have value?
These are some of the questions in six very short momplication assessments meant to draw readers deeper into uncovering their own mother wounds. The questions are discussed in subsequent chapters.
“If you are a mother, please forgive yourself for the times you have been on the low road. All mothers go there at times, and all mothers wound their children.”It’s Momplicated spoke more to me about the imprints I have left on my children’s hearts because I parented from the immature and unhealed parts of myself. Thankfully, by God’s grace, I have been healed from my own mother wounds.
God takes Joan’s and Debbie’s stories and intricately weaves Himself through their momplications sharing His light and love not only for the mother/daughter relationship but for a world full of others who have suffered wounds of all types. “It’s momplicated” is a beautiful expression of hope, healing, and forgiveness, with God giving us His eyes for what it looks like to make disciples beginning in our own homes.
“Why do mothers say harsh and demeaning things to their daughters? Some are just mean and lack empathy…Many succumb to their emotions and speak from the immature and unhealed parts of themselves.”
It’s Momplicated goes beyond the mother/daughter relationship and is applicable to any parent/child relationship and causes us to step back, take a breath and have compassion with those in our sphere of influence and those we come in contact with through daily living, and realize that perhaps others say and act in certain ways because they too have mother wounds that are waiting to be healed.
For more information on It’s Momplicated click HERE